My Own Worst Fantasy

There are certain times in life where one becomes aware of their own mortality. My moment came yesterday, half way through the first quarter of the first game of the season. It only takes one hit, one awkward twist of the knee, and a season can be over. Of course I speak of star QB and world renowned "hottie" Tom Brady. I don't speak of him as the fearless leader of the New England Patriots, rather as the official number one fantasy selection of the Blog.
Let me back track a minute. After achieving the commissioner-ship in a bloodless coup, while promoting "Change You Can Believe In", I was immediately faced with a number of challenges to the league. A league name needed to be clever ("No Xcuses Play Like a Champion" won out, paying homage to both the movie "Wedding Crashers" and the X-Games), various rules needed to be adjusted, and a draft time and type needed to be decided. Many hours of deliberation and inappropriate comments led to the conclusion that an online, standard draft was the most convenient way to select our players. I got stuck with the 7th pick in the draft, a spot where the top tier running backs would already be gone. My only options were to take the MVP QB who shattered offensive records last year on his way to leading his team to the Super Bowl, or a career third-down back who had never shouldered a full seasons load of carries. I took the QB.
And that brings me to today. After a downright awful performance on opening weekend (that still hasn't been completed), the future of S****** S****s took a devasting blow when the news of the extent of Brady's injury went public. As his ACL was ripped and torn, so too were the hearts and souls of countless fantasy owners who hinged their fantasy title hopes on his Midas-like right arm. Do I regret my decision to draft the man with the supermodel by his bedside? No. Fantasy Football is not about regrets. Do I wish we had done the draft differently so I would not have been forced into taking someone I wasn't really sold on? Yes. But my feelings in favor of the auction draft have been consistent since my the first time I tried it. Going back to the standard draft style was like going back to Jim Beam after having fine Scotch: I'm not happy about it and I may vomit later, but I'll do it because I have to and it's more convenient. But that is neither here nor there. These times of adversity are the ones that separate the fantasy men from the fantasy boys.
And I look forward to celebrating a new kind of Bar Mitzvah at the conclusion of this fantasy season.