Thursday, October 16, 2008

Freshly Squeezed

Preface: You know how every once in a while sitcoms have those serious and sappy episodes that really get the audience thinking...or slightly annoyed? Usually, the episode revolves around drugs, drunk driving, or domestic abuse. When we're lucky, the stars come on the screen after the show, introduce themselves by their real names (which is always confusing for a split second because we know them as their characters), and tell us about the issue at hand. But even with all the seriousness, the laugh track is still rolling throughout the whole show. The example that sticks out in my head is the Home Improvement episode when the Taylor's find out Brad's been smoking pot. This is the blog version of that. Hope the laugh track still works.
Fortunes can change at the blink of an eye. One second you think you have everything, the next, its gone. Of course, I already spoke about this in my last post, in reference to the season ending injury to the official number one draft pick of the blog, Tom Brady. (In case you were wondering, the S****** S****s are currently in the thick of the playoff race, after a mid-season trade to acquire Aaron "Mr." Rodgers has proven golden. Though he's much uglier than Mr. Giselle.) These situations are so common, and so normal, that there are even sayings to promote them. My favorite has always been "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade". I say take that freshly squeezed lemonade, have a seat, and watch some sports. Or somehow make it into a lemon flavored Gatorade and play something.
Because sports, although not a solution, is the ultimate distraction.
Before I go further, I would like to apologize to all of you have complained to me in the past about talking to much about sports. I have heard your complaints, and chosen to ignore them.
When looking for distraction, the thing you want most is consistency. It doesn't matter what month it is, what day it is, or what time zone you're in. There is always sports going on. There are those nights that you have to settle for MMA. (Though, between the homoerotic leg-locks and the 80s punk band hair-dos, I wouldn't recommend watching while...under the influence. I WOULD recommend youtubing the last Kimbo Slice fight...Gus Johnson is UNREAL.)
You want a distraction that can take your mind off everything. You want a few moments to be removed from whatever lemons were just thrown at you. Sports provide that. If the perfectly timed passing play doesn't do it for you, then the running back willing himself to the first down will. If the excitement of the alley-oop pass isn't pure enough, then the text book D is.
But sometimes watching sports isn't sufficient. After all, baseball games are long and arduous and you need more than the thought of CC Sabathia and Prince Fielder at the buffet table to get you by. Playing sports is always an option. For you lazy folks...fantasy sports is the clear answer. Whether you're making transactions, checking injury reports, or mocking fellow fantasy owners, there is always something to be done. Managing a team of your own is not only time consuming, it also makes you feel accomplished. Well, if you win.
Sometimes life just sucks. There are no explanations, no reasons, and no answers. Tom Brady had never been hurt before in his life. One hit to the knee, and hopes and dreams are all broken. Aaron Rodgers whipping TD passes to Greg Jennings may provide a great distraction, but it doesn't mean I've forgotten what could've been with Brady.